Motherhood, privilege, and finding joy in never quite having it all

January 13, 2020

Motherhood, privilege, and finding joy in never quite having it all

I've come across a number of situations where professional women despise being asked how they "balance work and family" when they are being interviewed for their professional accomplishments.  From what I can tell, the issue is that men are never asked this same question and it makes women feel like we are the parties mostly relegated to/designated with raising children in the family.

But isn't that the case though?

I mean, I'm speaking largely anecdotally for myself and the scores of women that I know but may be I'm wrong.  Or maybe I'm right and we should be asking men how they balance work and family and listen carefully to their responses.  We can't engage in discussions about gender equality (much less even pay equality) without ensuring that childcare is squarely on the table.

I admit that I am sitting firmly on the chair of privilege here.  I will be the first to tell you that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to be where I am right now without having had a village of support.  Family, friends, and most importantly, paid child minders/nannies/baby-sitters/care-givers/etc.  I've been a mom for almost eleven years and I haven't gone a month without paid support for my three sons, except during vacation.

I spent my early days as a mom as an investment banker so not only was I afforded financial privilege but I actually needed said childcare.  Double income families (my husband is also full-time employer) generally need this support and I wonder how families without the financial means accomplish their career/business goals.  I'm almost certain that there are a large number of women in the United States who need to make tradeoff's between working and caring for their children due to financial constraints.

 

This is a topic that I feel like we don't speak loudly enough about.  HOW DO WE EXPECT WOMEN TO RISE UP THE CAREER LADDER IF WE ARE GENERALLY FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET OUR KIDS TO AND FROM SCHOOL?  In addition to the myriad other responsibilities that young children come with? I did a quick poll of women that I know and it costs anywhere from $2,000 - $10,000 a month to pay for child care!

Whaaaat!@#$%^&

I'm literally asking the question, ladies, and hoping for some ideas!  I'm currently without childcare and I am trying my best to mother three kids, run Bossy Cosmetics, and teach a course at Stanford next month!  I'm looking for ideas and I'm hoping you have some.  Send me an email at aishetu@bossylipstick.com please.

Meanwhile, I posted this last week on LinkedIn.  Enjoy!

 

These are my well-behaved princes.  Kaito, Ikenna, and Emeka (L to R).

 

Cheers,

Aisha xx

 

Shop Bossy Today

 

 

 



Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in The Bossy Blog

JCPenney Beauty Thirteen Lune Bossy Cosmetics
Find us in JCPenney Beauty!

October 11, 2021

Bossy Cosmetics is thrilled to share that we are launching in JCPenney Beauty with Thirteen Lune on jcp.com and in-store at 10 select JCPenney retail locations this year, with rollouts planned across all remaining stores by 2023.

Read More

We are an Honoree of 2021 Fast Company Innovation by Design Awards!!
We are an Honoree of 2021 Fast Company Innovation by Design Awards!!

September 28, 2021

We are tremendously excited to announce that we’ve been honored by Fast Company as a part of its 2021 Innovation by Design Awards!! Our Power Woman Essentials Collection was recognized in the Packaging Design category and the entire team at Bossy Cosmetics Inc. is ELATED!!!!!

Read More

Rest (also) leads to success
Rest (also) leads to success

September 28, 2021

This photo is about 3 amazing women, journeying toward different massive dreams, with outrageous goals, who also understand that self-care is a critical part of reaching real fulfillment.

Read More